tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3863985539323214850.post1183143969386081437..comments2023-10-24T05:52:13.860-07:00Comments on VIGALAND: OUT FROM UNDER: NOW I GET IT! I HAVE SS - STOCKHOLM SYNDROMEVigabohttp://www.blogger.com/profile/07759933133939472793noreply@blogger.comBlogger14125tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3863985539323214850.post-41347833711458783222013-12-31T15:59:54.651-08:002013-12-31T15:59:54.651-08:00You are so right about this Jean Marie, that that ...You are so right about this Jean Marie, that that evil displayed as good is most damaging. It leaves us reeling and confused for years, sometimes forever. Thanks for reading this post and commenting. Please subscribe to my blog, RANT, RAVE, REJOICE on my personal website as I will continue to write new posts there beginning January 2014. All the previous posts from this blog have been imported to that blog already. Subscribe at http://www.vigaboland.com<br />Vigabohttps://www.blogger.com/profile/07759933133939472793noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3863985539323214850.post-54757129674344669212013-12-31T15:56:03.675-08:002013-12-31T15:56:03.675-08:00It's an incredibly hard situation we daughters...It's an incredibly hard situation we daughters subjected to abuse by our fathers have to deal with Jean Marie. Even though I said in the last line of my now published story, that I had "no tears for my father" to this day I am forever trying to sort out my feelings about him. Part of me loathes him. Another part remembers the good things, the times he was loving and cared, and this memory fights the monster that stalked my nightmares and haunted my dreams. I try to hate 100% as most think I should or they would. But until one has actually lived that dichotomy, it's impossible to understand how we can simultaneously love and hate the abuser.Vigabohttps://www.blogger.com/profile/07759933133939472793noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3863985539323214850.post-74794052634444203712013-12-31T15:51:05.095-08:002013-12-31T15:51:05.095-08:00Knowing we are not alone is what this blog and my ...Knowing we are not alone is what this blog and my constant urging that we speak out from under incest is all about. Thanks for commenting on this Jean MarieVigabohttps://www.blogger.com/profile/07759933133939472793noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3863985539323214850.post-66772837410527248832013-12-31T04:53:50.115-08:002013-12-31T04:53:50.115-08:00This has been a part of the abuse that did not mak...This has been a part of the abuse that did not make sense. That I could not explain. I loved my dad and defended him for most of my life. I put him on a pedastal. My dads super power was looking like the best of saints, while I knew his actions were the blackest of black. He was the whited seplecure. <br /><br />When I broke ties with him I mourned the sepertion as a death. Now one of my supportive sisters is still being torn in two as she sorts out the hate for the predator and the love for the imagined father figure.Anonymoushttps://www.blogger.com/profile/00083458018799949192noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3863985539323214850.post-57724305237445952262013-12-31T04:43:13.534-08:002013-12-31T04:43:13.534-08:00Dana it is nice knowing we are not alone. And the...Dana it is nice knowing we are not alone. And there is a predictable pattern.Anonymoushttps://www.blogger.com/profile/00083458018799949192noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3863985539323214850.post-32477152410780005322013-12-31T04:35:39.273-08:002013-12-31T04:35:39.273-08:00The love/ hate conflict is huge! The father figur...The love/ hate conflict is huge! The father figure was my one source of love and support. Or so I thought. The monster in him confused me. Latelly I am feeling that evil displayed as good in a father, is one of the most damaging elements of father/ daughter incest.Anonymoushttps://www.blogger.com/profile/00083458018799949192noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3863985539323214850.post-51180056467468869162013-09-03T09:07:21.691-07:002013-09-03T09:07:21.691-07:00Thanks Dana for your long, heartfelt comment. What...Thanks Dana for your long, heartfelt comment. What you lived through sounds so very very sad. But yes, that's how the "child" in us ... never quite hating the parent despite what the parent did to us. That's amazing your father apologized to you for what he did to you. In that respect, you are one of the luckiest ones. Most of us never get an admission of guilt, let alone an apology from our abusers. That, I'm sure has helped you move on to become who you are today. Good subject for another blog post too. Will give some thought to that one. Thanks for posting. <br /><br />If you're at all interested in reading my book, my own true story on incest, you will find it here: http://www.notearsformyfather.com<br />Vigabohttps://www.blogger.com/profile/07759933133939472793noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3863985539323214850.post-16816072836178455472013-09-03T07:25:36.972-07:002013-09-03T07:25:36.972-07:00As I sit here with tears streaming down my face, r...As I sit here with tears streaming down my face, reading this made me realize I'm not alone. I thought I was the only one that loved my parents but hated what they did to me. And now, even though both are deceased, I still love them and hate them. I managed to find forgiveness for my dad and he even apologized for how he treated me without me prompting him and this was long before he got sick. Don't get me wrong, I live with what he did to me everyday of my life. And every now and then a new memory rears it's ugly head. The beatings, name calling and sexual abuse. It's all in my memory and refuses to go away. After my parents divorced, my mom became an alcoholic and I endured what I now know as sexual abuse without touching as she would bring men home and have sex with the door open and be very loud. I remember laying in bed covering my ears and crying because I couldn't stand the sounds. And I couldn't stand being left alone for days with no money and sometimes no food and I resented her being drunk and showing up at school dances or passing out and me picking her up. But all of her actions when I tried to confront her were turned around and I was to blame because she had a bad childhood due to acne, bad teeth and the relationship with her mom. She died, I cried. This was all I knew of parents and knew I wanted to be the total opposite of them and I am. Thank you for sharing your story and for helping me realize, I'm not alone. Anonymoushttps://www.blogger.com/profile/12403897163112694560noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3863985539323214850.post-85173443294005699992013-09-02T09:49:27.449-07:002013-09-02T09:49:27.449-07:00Thanks for the inspiration for the blog post I jus...Thanks for the inspiration for the blog post I just published here http://patriciasingleton.blogspot.com/2013/09/effects-of-incest-when-your-abuser-is.html<br />Patricia Singletonhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/14114250171020836470noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3863985539323214850.post-73758977580676039522013-09-01T07:30:23.049-07:002013-09-01T07:30:23.049-07:00What a great comment Patricia! You said it all rig...What a great comment Patricia! You said it all right there ie. "When someone tells me that love and hate can't live in the same heart, I tell them they are not incest survivors." A very quotable quote! Thanks. Vigabohttps://www.blogger.com/profile/07759933133939472793noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3863985539323214850.post-54535990091323912772013-08-31T18:17:13.237-07:002013-08-31T18:17:13.237-07:00I do understand the loving your father, hating the...I do understand the loving your father, hating the lover. When someone tells me that love and hate can't live in the same heart. I tell them they are not incest survivors.Patricia Singletonhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/14114250171020836470noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3863985539323214850.post-55347145002296521542012-12-10T20:33:05.665-08:002012-12-10T20:33:05.665-08:00Glad it helps Mary. It certainly explained a lot t...Glad it helps Mary. It certainly explained a lot to me when I read about it. Vigabohttps://www.blogger.com/profile/07759933133939472793noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3863985539323214850.post-4234750924864354092012-12-10T19:47:37.420-08:002012-12-10T19:47:37.420-08:00Wow Viga, sounds so familiar. I can see it, the S...Wow Viga, sounds so familiar. I can see it, the Stockholm Syndrome. My father was the abuser, sexually, and yet he was the father I loved, who took me fishing, who loved me and showed kindness towards me, that I never received from my mother. Thank you for this, makes me understand a little better. :)nippercatshomehttps://www.blogger.com/profile/05642367051111890861noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3863985539323214850.post-61486784694830253612012-07-31T01:42:56.475-07:002012-07-31T01:42:56.475-07:00Heartfelt, Viga.
Thank You so much for having t...Heartfelt, Viga. <br /><br />Thank You so much for having the courage to disclose. My heart aches for the child Viga, while my spirit and soul celebrate the resilient Viga. Love and hugs to You--most loving Survivor that You are.<br /><br />Keep shining!Hamiltonwriterhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/11269965382734136625noreply@blogger.com