FLASHBACKS! A UNWANTED NECESSARY EVIL RESULTING FROM #CHILDHOOD SEXUAL ABUSE AND #INCEST

One of the most devastating after effects of childhood sexual abuse and incest is the FLASHBACKS. For years, the victim may not have them. Then suddenly, they may smell something and it sets off a panic somewhere inside. Or they may hear a bit of music that triggers a memory of something horrid, unpleasant, but they're not sure what's happening. All they know is the memory hurts. It begins hurtling around their minds and try as they may, they can't get it to stop. It feels like it's consuming their minds. It's overwhelming, like screaming in the brain.  And once the flashbacks start, it seems to take less and less to trigger them and the vicious memories come harder, faster, deeper every time they strike. What is going on? 

According to Beverly Engel, author of "The Right to Innocence", as awful as flashbacks are, they tell you something very important about yourself. You are evolving; you are changing, growing emotionally even if you don't believe it. And as much as you despise how it makes you feel, like you were going insane, it's what I call, a necessary evil to recovery and healing. To repeat what I so often say in my private group at Facebook: "No pain, no gain". The longer you avoid facing the truth about your past and what happened, the longer you are going to suffer. As Beverly says:

“You cannot make yourself have a flashback, nor will you have one unless you are emotionally ready to remember something. Once remembered, the memory can help you to face more of the truth. You can then express your pent-up feelings about the memory and continue on your path to recovery. Think of the flashback as a clue to the next piece of work. No matter how painful, try to view it as a positive indication that you are now ready and willing to remember.” The Right to Innocence by Beverly Engel

So many readers of my book, NO TEARS FOR MY FATHER, have asked me how I got over it. How come I'm so "together" today.  Don't I have flashbacks? Yes, I do. Every day in fact. But the intensity isn't even remotely close to what it was 10,  20, 30, 40 years ago. It's more like the sudden storm that terrified me as a child but instead of running and hiding, I applaud how far I've come: it doesn't frighten me any more. Now it's just a reminder that I am free, no longer a prisoner of my past.