Monday, September 16, 2013


When you write a book as close to your heart, to your whole essence in fact, on a subject as sensitive and hidden as incest as I have done in "NO TEARS FOR MY FATHER" it's similar to taking off all your clothes and walking naked down the busiest street in town: the internet. You don't know if baring your soul, telling your truth, exposing your sordid past in such graphic detail will bring praise for your courage or condemnation for your failure to act years ago. But you do it anyway, hoping that by doing so you might encourage some other victim to do likewise.

That's how I approached writing this book. And as I say on my website, there are those who should read it and those who shouldn't.

After receiving a review on Goodreads from a reader that left me feeling a little flat, I've decided that I now need to add another category to "who shouldn't read this book". The reader/reviewer gave the book a 4-star rating and left some very positive comments which I appreciated. But she also said she felt let down as I did not go into more detail about how I recovered from years of abuse.

I need to address this: NO TEARS FOR MY FATHER is not a self-help book and was never intended as one.  It's not therapy for the sexually abused. I am not qualified to write such a book. I cannot even begin to explain how I recovered over the 40 or so years after I was finally away from my abuser, my father. All I know is I embraced the chance life had finally given me to enjoy it with my new husband and I couldn't enjoy it by living in and forever remembering my abusive past.

I also knew I had to make up for a lot of lost time: my father had stolen my teen years ... all of them. I'd missed out on so much being isolated by him and not allowed to live a normal life. Once away, I have spent the rest of my life catching up, trying to do everything he never allowed me to do. And again, how could I do that if I was forever remembering, agonizing, flashing back?

Please don't think for a moment that I didn't have down times. Of course I did. I still cried when I was alone, wanted to scream and yell when I got angry at anyone ... my husband, even my lovely children ... and I still had to hold myself back and not want to end my life from time to time. But something, the survivor in me, said NO, my life is worth so much more. There was some reason I had been freed from my hell and I was going to find out what it was.  In time, I did:

Reason #1: To ensure that my husband and girls had a good life and that we grew in love as a family, I had to grow out of hate and anger. I had to focus on the gain, and not the pain.

Reason #2: To eventually write my book, NO TEARS FOR MY FATHER, so I could encourage others to speak out from under their own hellish past of sexual abuse.

You see, I did achieve what I set out to do with this book: it was always, first and foremost, a story ... my story ... my own true story of incest. It was never meant to be a book like "THE COURAGE TO HEAL", which I strongly recommend, by the way. And there are many more such books on the market, written by qualified people.

So, if you want a book geared toward helping you recover from childhood sexual abuse,
NO TEARS FOR MY FATHER, is not what you're looking for. But if you are looking to learn about this hideous, hidden sickness happening in so many homes and want to get into the mind and manipulative skills of an abusive parent and understand what it does to a child for years after, then you will find this book interesting, eye-opening, along with disturbing and infuriating as so many readers have said. And if you are a victim who isn't looking for my book to heal you, but to encourage you to speak out from under, then this book is a must-read.

And it's now available in both printed and e-Book form directly from my website at THIS LINK.

1) Those who truly care about children’s welfare and wants to know the truth about what can and does go on in thousands of families worldwide. These readers want to understand how incest affects children as they grow into adulthood and what the long-lasting effects of incest can be like.
2) Those who are in denial and refuse to believe this kind of child sexual abuse actually occurs at the hands of fathers, mothers, sisters, brothers, aunts and uncles and other close family relatives
1) Those who think incest is an acceptable and enjoyable activity between family members
2) Those who think this is another “Fifty Shades of Gray” and are looking for sexual stimulation via books
3) Those who are still very raw in their own healing and recovery from incest and could be easily triggered by the graphic scenes and language
4) Those who are looking for a book on recovery and self-help in healing from abuse

Sunday, September 8, 2013


It's been roughly a year since I started this blog. I was trepidacious at first. For one thing, I knew I was about to reveal a very dark and rather ugly side of my life as a teen to the millions who scour the internet looking for words like "sex", "incest" "child sexual abuse".  Many would be victims of child sexual abuse looking for help, looking for some explanation of why family members thought it was okay to molest a little 3 or 4-year-old girl or boy or a prepubescent teen.   Others would be those who get off on these subjects, who find incest "hot", "exciting" "stimulating".

In the  past year, this blog has been visited by over 28,000 people. Folks have subscribed to this blog, left comments, and linked through to my Facebook pages at COMING OUT FROM UNDER INCEST and also requested membership in my private Facebook group, SPEAK OUT FROM UNDER CHILD SEXUAL ABUSE IN FAMILIES.

I am so grateful to each and every one of you who came to this blog for the right reason. My intention has always been to encourage other victims to speak out from under child sexual abuse and incest and NOT to glorify the disgusting and perverted practice of sex between non-consenting parties. Children are a non-consenting party: they  cannot and do not give you consent to use their bodies for your sexual pleasures. You people fill me with revulsion and your participation in this blog or in my Facebook group is NOT WELCOMED!

I will continue to fight you in the only way I now can: with words. That is why I wrote and published my own true story, NO TEARS FOR MY FATHER. And I sincerely thank all who have purchased my book, posted a review at GOODREADS, and told others about my book.

I wrote NO TEARS FOR MY FATHER to encourage other victims of incest to speak up about the abuse they didn't want or deserve as children. Now that my book is done, what can you expect from this blog in the future? More of the same, but what I hope to start bringing you very soon is other victims' stories. Several in my Facebook group have consented to my sharing these with you. They will remain anonymous if they so choose, The important thing now is that folks realize mine is NOT an isolated case. There are thousands, millions like me out there!

I will also be posting excerpts from book on this blog, at MY WEBSITE, and shortly, you will even be able to download FREE e-book sample chapters from GoodReads. So do sign up as a follower or friend on my Goodreads Author page.

I'd like to leave you with my latest video pertaining to my book, NO TEARS FOR MY FATHER, in which I discuss why it's so important that victims of incest and child sexual abuse keep talking about it, and more importantly, why the general public needs to get its collective head out of the sand and wake up to the fact that 1 in 3 girls and 1 in 5 boys are sexually molested by the age of 18, that 90% of these children know their abusers and 30% of the abusers are members of the child's family!