Wednesday, January 8, 2014


Some time ago, I came across an incredibly informative op-ed by Ruth Hull, on Digital Journal. Ruth began her article with these words hit me like a brick in the face:

"The easiest way to gain custody of your kid is to rape the child. If you molest your child, your chances of gaining custody go up to 85 percent."

She expanded on this by adding:

"In the past nine months, 75 kids were murdered by their dads during custody battles — and the family courts [are} doing little to stop it.
Wyatt Garcia was born in April 2009. Nine months later, he was shot and killed by his father, who then turned the gun on himself. It might have turned out differently — if a family-court judge had listened to Wyatt’s mother."

Now I'm not going to copy and paste Ruth's entire article here because I'm hoping you'll go over and read it yourself. If you are a victim of incest contemplating taking your abuser to court, or a parent desperate to get justice for your child who has been sexually abused by your partner or other family member, you MUST read Ruth's well-researched article and watch the videos she has included with her op-ed. I was floored, and I think you will be too.  What I learned about the court system, at least in the US, and I have no reason to think it's different elsewhere, was horrifying.

According to Judge Deann Salcido (support her efforts on Facebook!), as a young judge she was trained, along with other judges, to be suspicious, very suspicious of women claiming abuse of any kind during a divorce.  This attitude was based on the possibility that the woman ... and it was generally always aimed at the female in the divorce case, might just be being vindictive or angry because her husband or partner has moved on with someone else etc. Judge Deann followed this mantra to the letter and then says she made a terrible mistake. In one divorce case where the mother, Joyce Murphy, claimed the father was sexually abusing their daughter, she ruled against the mother and gave custody to the father, Bud Parsons. Parsons was later convicted for sexually molesting two young teenaged girls, friends of his daughter! Judge Deann never forgave herself for the mistake she made and has since, become a "whistle-blower" about what really goes on in the courts. If you don't go over and read Ruth Hull's article, at least watch this video where Judge Deann tells us about this:

Ever since I watched this, I've wanted to share this with my subscribers and all who care about child sexual abuse. It won't make them happy.  It won't make them less bitter about what they have endured or are enduring in the courts. In fact, it'll probably make them twice as angry when they see how the system is working against them.  But it might help them understand why and how this is happening.

I hear time and time again in my private Facebook group for incest survivors how the courts are failing and have failed victims of child sexual abuse and the parents trying to get some justice for them. They share how the abusers are getting away with the abuse, how difficult it is to be believed when they do go to the police, and even if they do manage to take the case to court, the sentences are so light as to be ridiculous and the victims continue to live in fear of the day the abuser is back on the streets and can get to them. And in the meantime, scores of sexually abused children will spend years, decades, trying to cope with the horrific memories, their shame, their insecurities, their feelings of worthlessness, of being dirty, of being the ones to blame! What kind of justice is this?!

When and if you watch this video, and I hope you do, you will learn more that is even more shocking regarding how CPS and probably most child protective services in all countries are failing the abused children when they investigate the cases in the first place because of their own fears of being sued. Other issues involved are the almighty dollar, the costs involved in removing children from abusive homes and placing them in foster care. All of it, is more important than the minds, hearts and souls of the children being abused. It breaks my heart to hear this. I'm sure you'll feel likewise.

I welcome your comments, your thoughts, your indignation, and your own stories of how the courts have failed you or someone you know. Just as I dared in my book, NO TEARS FOR MY FATHER, to speak my own truth about incest because silence is deadly, people like Judge Deann Salcido are speaking out from under. She's taken a risk, as we all do, when we blow the whistle on the real criminals in our society. She's one gutsy lady and I'm sure she's made lots of enemies and perhaps even put herself in danger. But when you believe in doing what's right, you do it. I hope you'll "LIKE" her Facebook page. If you're reading this, it's most likely because YOU need people like her. She's working for YOU.

PLEASE NOTE: if you are wanting a signed, printed copy of my book, NO TEARS FOR MY FATHER, please use the CONTACT PAGE on my website as we are having a temporary problem with the e-commerce processing on the site. This is the only place online to purchase the printed book. e-Book versions are available from the following online distributors:

SMASHWORDS, AMAZON, iTUNES, BARNES & NOBLE , SONY eBook Store, as well as my personal website.